dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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