sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The maid of honor just puked.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
