You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
