Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
