Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
