He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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