just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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