she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
