shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
