yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
