My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize