Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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