I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
