Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you would pick up someone in the library
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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