his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
