wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
