Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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