My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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