He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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