It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
