She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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