Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Couch. On fire.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
