Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize