$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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