living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
