I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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