so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Do vagina's smell?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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