There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Houston, we have a blender
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
