i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We left the knife in your bed.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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