Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
