did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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