I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
