Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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