i permit you to call me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
