We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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