Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize