go do what you do best...puke behind churches
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize