East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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