I bet he comes in French.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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