She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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