found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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