I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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