Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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