just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize