Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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