my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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