I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
