Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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