What tipped you off? The sombrero?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
