drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
