what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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