ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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