i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
