I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
