at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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