the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
