I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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