I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I love you. Go after that dick
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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