Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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