so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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