its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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