But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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